Friday, June 24, 2011

Core Values of Integral Relationship Evolutionaries

 These are not my own words, if you'd like to learn more, please follow the sources. Thank you

If you are still after a relationship -well, if u are after one, then is it hunger? ...but nvm about that - I do appreciate the core values as outlined:

From http://www.integralrelationship.com/

12 Core Values of Integral Relationship Evolutionaries:*

  1. We choose to love (instead of something that happens to us) and see the quality of our relationship as an indicator of our psychological health and spiritual realization.
  2. We transcend our primary fantasy and base our relationship in Being values, versus material, sexual, or emotional neediness.
  3. We use our relationship for ongoing mutual learning, healing, growth and awakening towards the capacity to love unconditionally.
  4. We hold an evolutionary perspective and have reached or strive towards an integral, transpersonal or higher level of consciousness.
  5. We continuously develop, balance and harmonize our healthy feminine and masculine polarities.
  6. We meet each other as opposites and equals to create synergy at the level of all seven chakras.
  7. We share a purpose for our relationship that is larger than either individual and that is offered in service for the greatest good of the largest number of people.
  8. We have an Integral Life Practice (ILP) with modules for the health of our body, mind, spirit/soul, shadow, as well as ethics, sexuality, work, emotions, and relationships.
  9. We make an explicit agreement to tell/listen-to each other’s truths without the need for validation or acceptance from our partner, and to own our emotional reactions to our partner's reality.
  10. We set and respect each other's healthy boundaries.
  11. We share material resources and pursue an environmentally and socially responsible lifestyle.
  12. We engage in sacred/tantric sexuality and practice monogamy out of choice instead of fear.
* These 12 Core Values for Integral Relationship Evolutionaries outline the relationship potentials for integrally informed men and post-postmodern (evolved) women.  They were inspired by Elizabeth Debold's 10 Core Values for Evolving Women

Below are Elizabeth Debold's wonderful 10 Core Values for Evolving Women. The Integral Relationship Website is dedicated to the male-female relationship potentials that women become available for once they embody these values.
  1. Holding an Evolutionary Perspective
    She strives to live in the knowledge that the creative intelligence that gave birth to the universe is not separate from her true self. She knows that all of the ways that she is conditioned—biologically, socially, and psychologically— are not personal to her, but are part and parcel of a universal developmental process.

  2. Trusting in Life
    Through letting go of her need to control over and over again, she has discovered the empty Ground of Being that lies at the depth of her self. This profound experience of liberation frees her at the deepest level. As a result, she is at ease, manifesting an undefended innocence, dignity, and independence of spirit.

  3. Taking Responsibility for Evolution
    Knowing that the entire developmental process is One, she endeavors to take full responsibility for evolving her own consciousness, realizing that her development moves the leading edge forward for all womankind

  4. Realizing Unity with Other Women
    She relaxes more and more into a unity with other women as she refuses to act out of the nearly universal compulsion for women to separate from and compete with each other. She doesn’t deny that this compulsion, which has been key to women’s survival in the past, operates in her psyche, nor is she afraid or ashamed of it, but she works to keep her focus on evolving women’s relationships through trust, transparency, and a passion to create the future

  5. Being Emotionally Rational
    Despite how overwhelming any emotional experience may be, she strives for objectivity and aspires to liberate her power of choice so that she is no longer trapped by fears and desires rooted in her biological and cultural conditioning. She is developing the emotional maturity to not dis-integrate and give in to ancient survival impulses when she finds herself under pressure.


  1. Standing Autonomously and Not Wavering
    Rather than gauging her responses by what she thinks others want and need, she is cultivating a radical autonomy, grounded in her longing for liberation and her passion for the evolution of consciousness. She increasingly finds manipulative game-playing distasteful, and craves being simple, straight, and clear in her relationships with other

  2. Relinquishing Sexual Power
    She is awake to how deeply identified she is with her sexual power and how instinctive it is to use it to get what she wants. Aspiring to drop this fundamental identification, she finds that sexual relationships become more straightforward and less of a priority and marker of personal success. The more she succeeds in this aspiration, the more she discovers a profound intimacy with others that is not related to sexuality at all.

  3. Leading by Example
    Dropping the many masks of pretense and self-image, she strives for a rare vulnerability and authenticity that is not emotional but comes from being unafraid of the impulses and motivations that drive women. She is discovering a deep confidence that is not edged with hardness but founded in transparency and humility. She is willing to step forward and be a pioneer, and does not abuse the power that comes with leadership.

  4. Being Trustworthy
    Resisting the temptation to be dishonest or inauthentic under scrutiny, she desires to act with integrity so that her word is her deed. She aspires to be consistently true to a higher purpose no matter what personal challenges she faces

  5. Rejecting Victimhood
    She recognizes that she has cocreated history with men and is not a victim of it. She seeks to take full responsibility for her own choices, past and present. Today, she stands side by side with men as an equal cocreator of an enlightened future.

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