Video: Work Month - November 2010

Visit at the Institute November 2010 
It was a delightful visit, some of our friends from Spain spent the entire month or a couple of weeks here. It was an intense time for me, and November of 2010 was the beginning of a tunnel out of which I emerged changed 6 months later.

If you are wondering, yes, Skye, the German shepherd husky had a lot to do with it. A guide in disguise.I hope you enjoy the video.

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Compassion and Futility

Lately I am more and more essentially speechless. There seems nothing to say, nothing worth saying in the face of this earth and what is human life - or - what it seems to be. I stand speechless in the face of ignorance, with a sense of futility that is too deep to express. ...and I don't know how to live with expressed compassion in the face of it all.
Phrases like: "Do what needs to be done in the moment" make total sense.  Having compassion for this body of the Absolute, this body of Christ....what you do to the least of my brothers, you have done to me. What have you done? It's one thing to live turned to the lofty love poets speaks of.....
Each one's life is what it is. Fundamentally, it remains a mystery, no matter what you think you know or how highly you deem yourself to have evolved, no matter how well you speak of love, space, ideas, purpose or anything else.
Do you still want enlightenment, living the enlightened life - talk about Love or Being? Why, what for?  Even all those lofty spaces and places I have known seem to belong to a different world, a prior world it seems, a world I can't go back to. In this one, ignorance is everywhere...continued hardship and the new formation of bad habits becomes slowly clear. In the face of relentless overwhelm, giving up starts being a consideration, allowing care to slip just because it's too much, priorities misplaced. It takes all you got, and even then, how long till you got to let it go? It gets bare and raw. Taking care of your human needs, nvm wants and desires is becoming more and more a non-option as well as is loosing relevance. It's bare, it's raw and basic - you do what needs to be done in the moment. You start to consider that defending is pointless, no longer even an option and all you are left with is feeling.  This seems so counter to all the empowerment talk going on in certain circles.
I suspect anyone reading this will likely have experienced their own version of this. A thought creeps up: ignorance is a blessing - how else can people do what they do and still laugh and smile? Hiding in a body to forget. And if you don't need to walk this path, then by all means, don't. Be happy. Have fun playing the game.
Why am I even writing this - so I don't forget, and in case it can become useful.
Maybe someone will see they are not alone in this....just that I am too tired to even joke :)
Sometimes you are to tired to remember gratitude...until you do.

How kind were you able to be today - despite of it all?
What have you done to the body of Christ - being the person you just met?

Recently I got an extra job: taking care of our new dog. It's a lot of work, given the situation.

My heart opens when I look at her, when I think of her.

..."just " a dog....
I started a blog about her. In love with a dog? Still have not been able to get pictures that capture her beauty.