The Purpose of Life

A long time ago, while doing a pediatric elective at John's Hopkins in Baltimore, I met a fellow student there - and he asked me what the meaning of life was - no idea what brought that on, though I am kinda weird with interest in such things or maybe he was  thinking I'd have some smart answer, being from Germany and educated differently? He said, mentioning something about Kant, that everyone has to give their life its own meaning. I did not know what the meaning of life was, except, the meaning of my life was: to learn to Love. ..... and I meant REALLY love - not any of the things commonly called "LOVE". I was 28 when I realized this.  It  has not changed - only that a few years later, there were a few  sub-goal and the realization that awakening is major part of that path - the Learning to Love.

Today I would say that your ability to love relates directly to the degree of your awakeness - and presence - and there are many levels of awakening. I almost don't count some peak experiences triggered by outside forces. Real transformation happens from the inside, through realizations and ahas. It is sometimes funny to realize who you were...looking back ....wow.

We all come from somewhere as humans, and presumably our soul-human combination is as it is because of an affinity - consciousness manifested....and soul flaws highlighted for those not yet perfected.

Someone slick and socially groomed may give the impression of being way more evolved - when in fact - that may have absolutely nothing to do with any degree of awareness, awakeness or Love.
Living in some kind of lala land never having faced one's own dark side - can't truly Love from that place.

But I digress - so back to the purpose of life. I asked someone at a party once what the purpose of her life was. The answer was clear and straight: To be a mother.  And she was a mother and she was good at it - her 4 kids grown up ...but she was still being a mother. Loving to her would always mean something different than what I was looking for - and yet, when she dies - she would die knowing she had fulfilled her life's purpose....or so I think.

I find learning to love - very challening, especially when it comes to loving humans. I mean, let's face it: babies are amazing, children are too and I have loved being with them since I was 12 years old - at which point I started wondering what LOVE means. I was willing to give my arm if need be for my 9 month old cousin - and I concluded: This must mean  that I loved her - which I did - only today, I am not that selfless, at least I hope I never get tested like that - and then there are those who have hurt you in ways you can't imagine, and then there is that Hoʻoponopono prayer, and Byron Katie and a bunch of other paths that pretty much say something like this: it is all a reflection of you. YOU are always responsible.

This is - challenging and requires an expansion of the YOU that is talked about - the SELF that is meant.

And pretty soon we are into the mystery section of any path - trying to get to the real "reality".

I always loved nature, and animals - but until 2010, I had not realized the truth of this:

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.
– Anatole France

One of the hardest parts is recognizing and tolerating the extreme limitation one finds oneself in in this body-mind - especially when really wounded very early on.  We all do the best we can with what we got - and even if not - to realize the beyond imagination limitlessness while grounded in this body - is like - mind boggling. Eventually sayings of saints and sages - make sense - or rather: are recognized as truth because you KNOW.

So then there is that loving again, and the heart and consciousness and electromagnetic fields and vibration and energy...and this precious human incarnation when you want to walk gently everywhere....alas .... you know what I mean.

So back to loving - and listening to your heart - and the silent pull to what you love .... and what is that, for me today, this week, in these years?

And there is a thing on that list that is incompatible with what I am committed to presently.

This is a dilemma - I need a year off - or at least a couple of months. At the same time, it is: you don't just take off from your motherhood either.

There can be a huge difference between realization and manifestation when the alchemical transformation had not yet completed. While purpose and temperament differ - mean-ness, vindictiveness, blaming, selfishness - you get the drift  - are parts to accept and embrace, but they are not a higher state of beingness...of true presence, attention and love.

All this rambling to get to; what is it that I - this particular bodymindsoul - truly love, love to do and to be...and how much am I doing and being that where I am in my life? And is there any part - that I should be doing but that cannot be accomplished here? And what is it  that I could already be doing where I am but that I am not? And how much is what I love - related to the purpose of my life?

So there.

One thing that is coming to the forefront is this: taking care of self  - and with love.

Here is another take on the meaning of life - the Secret of Life whatever it may be - I can't tell

The Secret is there .....