Why my main avatar stopped playing Path of Exile

So today we finally killed Dominus in merciless in Path of Exile - POE - the equivalent of hell in Diablo 2, only this is merciless. There is no grand reward or anything, so mostly we have not been doing it in the various leagues (ie ladders) because it is a MERCILESS task.  However, my level 73 character - "I" - asked for it to finally be done - to finish the commitment to free this world we have been fighting to liberate - from Dominus (and so much for those who claim not to get involved in local politics haha - you are not waking up any NPCs, teaching art or growing souls - your entire life there you are getting involved in their politics - until you finish that and then go for fame and stuff, just saying).

The reason for  my character to finish the game is this - "I" want out. I no longer see the point of this one, but worse, it might be doing me harm - and yes, it might just be because I simply cannot play it well enough. I even contemplated how this might be a reflection of my earthy game atm, but in POE

1. I can't really see the graphics well (it is too f*cking much on the screen), 
2. My avatar's leveling slowed to a crawl while playing in the group, though it does a ton of damage - and I don't have the time to solo it to try to catch up....I did that for weeks, but now it is taking too too long.
3. The punishment for death is brutal if you care to level at all. - sometimes I don't care - but mostly there is some version of hate.
4. After the time change in local earth I miss part of the game because of other duties, slowing leveling from a crawl to a standstill. What is the deal with leveling?  Your character needs to gain in level to be able to handle the "level" of monsters ...and when the group starts leveling beyond you...you are more or less doomed to stay behind unless special attention and consideration is given to you.
5. and,  last, but not least ...the thing I noticed and winced about from the start - they make you kill animals in this game -  bears, wolves, chicken-rheas, monkeys, crustacens and other such creatures. The ghouls and ghosts and demons are one thing, but why them, (even though they will kill you). A long time ago I stopped doing the quest where you have to go into the den to kill the great white beast because it haunts the inhabitants in their dreams -  geeez  people  use a CQR already, but I ain't killing him any more.

So between interfering in the local politics, the killing of animals and not being willing to spend the time and money to actually get a character who can make it leveling in the higher map quests without SO SO SO much pain and punishment ....I am taking a break from it.

How can I come back? Honestly - I don't know. Will I miss it - not sure, never did get the same pog  sense in this one because so much of the resources were spent on simply surviving.  (Term POG - from Pack of Green - has become a well known term amongst those initiated in bardo safaris.)
Maybe I am just not cut out for this one. Even if I could somehow get some "reason" why it would be ethically necessary to kill the animals - I'd still rather do music or art or work on the chicken garden - so so so much work to do there.

For some of you, "playing" this game may be a welcome distraction, relaxation and time spent with friends from far away, or an entertaining challenge - not for me, for all the above, though "killing" ie handling the monster groups when you  are reasonably able to level and have an adequate avatar can indeed be fun.

Some will say - aha - looser, whimp, drop out ...whatever, maybe I really AM not capable for this game. On the other hand,  maybe give me a good reason I can understand and accept to agree to spend my earth time researching this game and getting good at it even in the higher levels - because ...I don't see it, I don't feel it. After the main game's task is finished, you end up doing "maps" and need to get  better and stronger to survive. ...for what? To have more stuff in the hideout, to get a sense of mastery - but maybe it is fun for you?

 Diablo 2 was different....at any rate, for me there was a reason to do it that was more than what seems to be happening now.  I guess it is child's play compared? - It is a beginner's game after all. ...though it totally was mind-blowing for me.

It is possible that there IS a fundamental flaw or deficiency within myself that I am not able to play video games past a certain level. - but then, so be it - why continue with Kopf an die Wand ...hit your head against a brick wall?  At some point, that becomes stupidity.
It is sad to have to finally leave the group - ya, but at this time,  not greater than the pain it was to be there. ...many months of this to finally get to that point. To think it has been 10 years of at times intense involvement (some of the best things in my life and awakening process happened online like that) in the online multiplayer bardo training - and even though it is only POE we are talking about atm - the process of change started 4 years ago already - but that is another story altogether.

I'd rather be doing stuff like this walk-in tool cabinet pictured here that I needed to keep my tools dry YAY:), or researching, as per request,  which live plants, if any, are good for a crested Gecko habitat? There are a ton of  raised beds to be made, there are so many webpages to be worked on, I need to do my CME for license, and a gazillion other things,  ....like digging a draining trench to that the second chicken coop didn't flood again ...the rain that just started pouring down...a big storm here ...I hope that trench was big enough - but I can tell you this: I am so happy my tools have a home with a roof :) - and with killing Dominus today with the help of the group, my avatar's obligation to that world is fulfilled.
Good luck guys - and I already know you are having fun.
Now if I can get myself to clean up this room I am sitting in to have some space for a guitar and amp .....:)