So I built this really nice homestead which I love in Second Life. All my kid avatars loved it and the adults to do ...only it is not the kind of environment that lends itself to high fashion wear. So a couple of months ago, while noticing the attachment, I felt that there was no longer a reason to keep it, as the money spent there could be used to pay for chicken feed in RL :) Before relinquishing the parcel, I felt I needed to build the deep forest environment of "swamp-woman", a parallel world self who got revealed in my the first ever Super-Beacon parallel world persona meet/greet and integrate. But in imagining the deep forest environment, I noticed something very unexpected: there was fear in my gut when I really thought and felt, when I visualized how I was gonna build it. Wasn't THAT interesting. Having felt quite connected to that persona, grateful to know her and understanding myself as well as having much more compassion for this unit here, I acknowledged the fear - and speculated that it was the fear of living in total aloneness for many many years as far as the company of humans was concerned. After all these years, and considering myself a loner and often preferring the company of animals to that of humans (with the exception of young children) - I was a bit surprised nonetheless. With that came the realization that there is something priceless - or - as the Buddhists say "precious" - about this human incarnation. To be more precise: the preciousness of and opportunity of conscious individuated awareness and possibility to awaken and voyage - to traveling together in mutual recognition.
A couple of weeks later I was listening to the David Franco Show on gorebaggtv and they were reading of the chamber where a rebirth station involving a lake and white birds vs some white mansion was read - and that one would not want to choose the beautiful lake and white bird - because the teaching has not yet taken root there. The teaching - the teaching makes only sense when there is someone wanting or needing to be taught - as in other humans.
For a while now I have been in awe of how close, principally, I am living in a chamber that is the lake and the white birds next the mansions - more simply put - in the country where the teaching has taken hold. Buildings and people...and the work is possibly taken hold there....and then there is the chickengarden.
I love the combination ...and - I still want my own room, or my own little tiny house where I can be. Not sure how I am gonna ever make this machine do what the pond exercise is about. Often, it feels like almost constant mini-violations and I just don't have the energy to deal with it any more.
However, intending to build that deep forest environment and the reluctance to go there made it pretty clear that soemthing in me does NOT want to live like that again, or rather, in this life. It is, after all, a special kind of hell. And it is not that animals are not company. Animals feel, and do have awareness, and I conpletely agree with Anatole france: "Until you have loved an animal part of your Soul remains unawakened".
Higher Consciousness and Feeling ...after the separation out of the primordial oneness, self awareness and reintegration on a conscious level - that most animals don't have ...well, so is my current understanding. Only the human animal created tools with which to communicate like this - while others are going the path of developing intuition and psychic awareness. There is a communion, a listening and being heard that happens only with another human....and it liberates energy, which then becomes available for other things. It is almost like - until you have seen, or have been seen, by another human being, part of your soul remains unawakened. Going to live in the forest, even in Second Life, has that as a non-option. There is nothing wrong with solitude - however - part of your soul will remain unawakened if you only do that and going to live where the teaching has not taken hold is not something I choose.
