Gifts of time and offerings

Just a few considerations to share today - a little hodge-podge of stuff

Offerings and participation. Lily came up from the home she lives at to have lunch with us yesterday and to show her teacher a painting. In that context, he asked: how are the art classes going, and the answer was: I am not doing it any more, I only had 2 people showing up - and one of those got Parkinson's now. His response: so what, I only have 2 people showing up at my classes - and I told her the same thing. ..in fact, 2 would be great.

Vineyard paintings by E.J. Gold

And it is true - it kinda feels like - wow, isn't my time more precious than that? Coming up from another project in progress,  that will get not done that day, to do the last art class  - I still felt - it is the right thing to do. But what about feedback, what about participation to make one feel to be on the right track. Or is it the road less traveled by - regardless of others?

Recently someone shared some things about offering something in Second Life in the Prosperity Ashram, a really good piece of work - but only 1 or 2 folks were really interested and showing up. I was thinking - wow great, and even if no one shows up, simply do a reading - to all beings everywhere and nearby. Even that would not be wasted time. I'd be happy  doing the art class with even 1 person participating and with some feedback. But is an offering - and yes, I understand how it feels.

Attending and being attended to go hand in hand - FB page likes, being liked and participation in a page go hand in hand. But basically, time and interest is precious and there seems to only be so much to go around.  I have seriously contemplated getting off facebook altogether. But then, there'd be no way at all  -  to share and like stuff, like that the art classes on gorebaggtv.  - and visions are big ...:).

Same goes for the photos of idhhb - it takes  time to get them ready to share - and hardly anyone looks at them and if they do - I don't know about it. Everyone wants to be seen and recognized, be connected, feel connected, be useful ....I know I can't keep up with everyone's stuff. Also, the way facebook works ...like and comment posts in a mutual way is what keeps them in the news feed the best.

On scheduling events - There is so much stuff from varying sources - some  events will end up being scheduled during other events - and maybe - the folks who attend either -  would not actually attend both ... and chose the time that works for THEM. I never asked certain classes taking place during safari times for example - but that is how it is.

Taking refuge - A bardo dream - drawing by CWolters

I do the art class because it is the right thing to do at this time, regardless. It is happening at a time - the only time, that I got - not my preferred time, but the only time that worked for others and was not interfering with any other event. I call it an attempt by the universe at something - even though I do not know what exactly.

Maybe - Maybe when vibrationally something gets aligned, the pencil magic shading art class on www.justin.tv/gorebaggtv will take off. Maybe it is something internal that still needs to  shift inside me, maybe it is a matter of practice and persistence and believing in the vision and paying the dues that this unit, me, needs to learn - maybe it simply is: doing what seems to be the right thing to do today, this week, at this time period - just because - no strings attached - just an invitation to participate, just because, or to grow a soul a little more.

Long overdue - A little bit about gifts
Sometimes I do someone a favor, like clean up the kitchen for them - just because I could, I had the time and energy and it felt right - and truly without expecting anything in return - and in fact, if I get "paid back" just to get "paid back", it takes away from the gift, it makes it a transaction. I don't want anything in return - because it came from the heart and if you think you can pay for that - you can't. Equally, if someone gives me something but expects a payment, even somewhere down the line - then don't give it. I am very grateful - thank you so much, but don't hold it out that now I owe you something - that is not how giving works. It really does not. A gift is a gift. If you are selling something, please - it would be better to know upfront about it, really. And regarding the bit of time I gave, the offering I made - if you end up paying for it at some other time because you think you have to, because you feel you owe - it is ruined as a gift...in fact, you did not accept the gift.

There is something about freedom in giving - freedom and radiance - without expectation - just because  it is the right thing to do at the time, just because your heart talks and you do it  - and if it is not - then maybe don't do it, or make a deal - but at the very least - no one ought to be expected to pay for a gift.

Participation can be a real gift...precious and priceless. Those who offer events - they do know this.

Namaste, Love and Lots of Blessings

What am I doing with all these chickens?

June 17, 2014 at about noon -  having dreaded the trip but thought it necessary - I was coming home from a trip into another world - the dentist. Never mind that it  was basically bad news, even as this was the last time to me "my" dentist as he is finally retiring.
I felt like I had been onsome bardo trip that day - and realized while out there: when you go to a conventional medical practice - it is almost impossible to extricate yourself  out of its conventional medical fangs - whether what is suggested is "right" or "wrong". That was one insight that I felt, experienced and "got it". It takes a lot to follow your own intuition regarding what to do for your health and if you are alternatively inclined - it pays to find an open minded conpatiple MD who will work with you.

However, the appointment having been in the morning - with no actual dental work got done that day - I nonetheless found myself pretty much unable to do anything that day. ...in terms of my usual work schedule that day.

What was interesting was this: when I went down to take care of the chickens for the evening, This is what came to mind: "What am I doing with all these chickens?"Knowing how I felt about chickens and the entire adventure with them - this was a noteworthy thing.

It has not felt the same with the chickens ever since.

After some research online, I ordered one supplement that day - my first to take in many years - and only because my nutrition is still sub-optimal to maintain natural health.

I guess I stopped being a vegetarian that day too - because, while not eating meat - I am making bone broth from chicken bones leftover from someone else's meal.

Also, from 1 day to the next - no sugar or grain intake at all. It was just one of those "Stop It" things - some of you will get the reference.

Oil pulling - started - can't say I like it much, but seems to work.

I WILL have to find a raw, organic, grassfed dairy milk though .....wish me luck.

Feels like a new chapter ..... not in the same world after the visit than when I left.

About the art class

Today is Friday and we met again on gorebaggtv (Friday 10:30 - 11:30) for the current art class: pencil magic, based on the series "Draw Good Now" by E.J. Gold.

It was delightful, albeit a little challenging, to have little Kaira (or not so little any more?) attend from Spain today - and I really hope it was fun for her.

In my mind  there have been images and ideas floating around -  about painting - evolving out of the shading. Some of those creations are huge, some with colors, some tell stories - may they be seen some day.

In the meantime, it was back to basics today - and I am reminded of one of the things E.J. Gold has been doing over and over and over: start over with "noobs" - meaning new folks showing up at art class or for zen flute classes, or for guitar classes. I have seen total beginners taking those basics lessons into their life and being, starting to make music, write ...do art. Some may need a longer germination time - that would be me - but I can't help admiring to be willing to start over and over and over when someone new shows up, or just as a matter of repetition - for the benefit of all beings everywhere.

Just like E.J. Gold says when you get to be a level 99 in Diablo 2: ...  what is there to do - you help others, you start over.

I can't quite imagine the patience, the divine indifference - in the face of: the so so slow pace of waking up, the inertia, the apathy, the unconsciousness .....  of large sections of humanity - or the beings lost in bodies.

Things can't be forced - one is ready when the time comes.

I had the good fortune to attend some of the art classes with E.J. Gold a few years back, very eye opening. Later I even worked on making the DVDs - and  - when asked to give an art class online for the "online" folks during workshops - I knew it was time to give back, pass something on. In fact, anything given by a teacher of any kind seems to carry with it the obligation to - pass it on. At least it registers like that inside me.

It is helpful to make/have/find things available that can aid in the awakening process, to put out the tools for awakening, pass something on, offer it the best you can - and be delighted with someone makes use of them.

Some folks are by nature social butterflies - and - it can help - as well as obscure or even hinder the self initiatory aspect of steps into awakening practice and processes. For someone like me, that too becomes practice, this being "social" at all - to step out even though it is NOT my inclination to do so. I don't offer much in human social relationship benefits :). The process of doing art needs to be what is the draw, the attraction. The desire to grow your soul doing art, the relationship of yourself to your SELF is the force that brings you to the pencil and paper, the discovery of the magic or 3d illusion creations,   the relationship of the outer and the inner, the creative process from the source ...and the path it takes - is what becomes the driving force to show it.  I don't offer polished or tantalizing anything - though I sure have known the life-changing power of online working and beingness with another, without even using any words.

 At this time, the process and practice of doing art, in this case simple shading drawing - is the tool for awakening, a journey into depth and presence. At this point I trust enough to know: it WILL awaken a part of the BEING  more - and  I am not going to be done as there is layer upon layer of awakening and then - working. In terms of doing art - I cannot draw on the powerful drive and love I have in this lifetime for the working with mama earth and her creatures. - for me, doing art is -  more like an essence task ... something to develop...because I have heard: of growing your soul, and of doing art being a means to do so.

Thank you so much for participating. When you are making something available yourself - you can  truly understand how precious that is.

Thank you :)

Does doing art grow your soul?

A while ago I realized that what Anatole France says it is true: "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened"

I have also heard: the only purpose for any human being anywhere at any time is to grow a soul. (paraphrased E.J.Gold)

...and then: You grow your soul by doing ant, any art, well expressed in a letter by Kurt Vonnegut to high school students.

True or not - I happen to believe it is true, and as I have been exposed to drawing and watercolor art classes by E.J. Gold - and am being asked to give art classes online - the art road has started.

It really is also a selfish reason: to awaken that part of my soul that grows by doing art. Knowing the total 100% commitment to the animal and the resulting realizations - and knowing from experience that the greatest passages have happened in my life only through that level of intensity, I am not quite sure how that could possibly manifest in my doing art or doing the art classes.

However

Then there is doing art in a group. This has potential I can't possibly really know yet...how can we  know what exactly can happen in a real group .... or rather - THIS group?

Here is my hope and vision:

We start together with pencil and paper and do shading.
we continue
we continue participating
we show up
we start having the willingness to share some of the art made - to share, to inspire, to overcome
we post our experiences on a website.
we continue
we invite others in RL to sit watching the class online and doing art
we invite again
we post some more of our art...and we share experiences
and we continue
we explore
we co-create
we .......
...eventually foster an appreciation for art, it's purpose, and a sense of aesthetic -  to the point where folks want to do art and/or have art in their homes - and would also see the point of attending and bidding at an auction for non-profits - in the spirit of compassion and giving, the spirit of helping.

I do appreciate the difficulty of self initiated participation, and I happen to agree, that if you have to convince people to do this - it is not going to work.
On the other hand, there is this: "I was inpired by .... " or this showed up in my life and I felt drawn to it.
There is - practice and discipline.

Here is an example of something that happened while doing art the other day during the "class":

After an almost sleepless night  trying not to worry - but also knowing the things that might come - I had just come up from the garden where there was one or my sweet buttercup chicken, who I had diagnosed being egg-bound when she went to  roost in the evening, standing still in the dog crate after the first bath I ever gave to a chicken. Being truly egg-bound for a hen -  is a certain death sentence if not treated. She had her first warm bath, one of the things recommended - and then...I had to go to the class - just as well, so it would give here the chance to maybe pass the egg....trying to justify why going to do the art class was ok. (Some folks look at me funny when I say this, or get worried wbout a chicken ...as if we didn't breed chickens to lay eggs almost all year round rather than what would be normal for them - lay a clutch of eggs in the spring - so yes, apart from everything else, we are also responsible - but that is a whole other story)

So then I go to the gorebaggtv station - check the online chat and no one is there .... so, ok, I do the class anyway, maybe someone will show up, I want to honor the commitment and who knows, maybe a miracle will happen and she manages to get that egg out....

I do my scribble, buttercup chicken in mind and start shading. At some point about halfway into it -  there is this: here is this chicken that is going to die if nothing gets done - here I am doing this art class no one is at, teary-eyed, why am I doing this ...and the realization that, even though these chickens are not quite like pets, there are also not "just chickens"  but most of all - it is painful to know she is suffering, it is scary to know what I might have to do - and without help ...and here I am shading doing a class no one is at - this chicken's shading image. And there is love, compassion and commitment and heartache. I know who she is ...even though in the end, looking at the image, others have called her a bear and a mouse. That is ok - such is the nature of shading. I see her. And somehow, this piece of paper and the shading become imbued with something .... - for the lack of a better word - a little bit of soul - and it does acquire life. Maybe you see it, maybe you feel it, maybe you don't. I look at the shading shape/drawing - and I feel her. She is very very sweet. (I am told that I will get a scan of the image by tomorrow - sorry, you can't see it atm).

And so ...the journey of doing art and growing your soul continues...for me, it has barely started. Sometimes I get glimpses of what might be possible .....

Someone did eventually sign into the channel  during this class ....and you know who you are: You know, it was really good that someone did show up in the end. Thank you....it is an example how just showing up and participating can be important There is this lovely sweet piece of shading and - the added presence of someone there - was a gift.
In case you are wondering what happened to the chicken, you can read that here.

I happen to have photographed some paper art yesterday - etchings mostly ...and I am amazed. Etchers were the photographers of a certain past. Amazing.  One of the prints  happens to be of a bird ...this is a detail ...

Can doing art grow a soul? Going on trust and experience in other areas: yes ....
If that is something you are interested in: come join us on gorebaggtv every Friday 10:30 to 11:30 am pt. 
All you need is a pencil and a paper.