Video: Work Month - November 2010

Visit at the Institute November 2010 
It was a delightful visit, some of our friends from Spain spent the entire month or a couple of weeks here. It was an intense time for me, and November of 2010 was the beginning of a tunnel out of which I emerged changed 6 months later.

If you are wondering, yes, Skye, the German shepherd husky had a lot to do with it. A guide in disguise.I hope you enjoy the video.

or click here

Compassion and Futility

Lately I am more and more essentially speechless. There seems nothing to say, nothing worth saying in the face of this earth and what is human life - or - what it seems to be. I stand speechless in the face of ignorance, with a sense of futility that is too deep to express. ...and I don't know how to live with expressed compassion in the face of it all.
Phrases like: "Do what needs to be done in the moment" make total sense.  Having compassion for this body of the Absolute, this body of Christ....what you do to the least of my brothers, you have done to me. What have you done? It's one thing to live turned to the lofty love poets speaks of.....
Each one's life is what it is. Fundamentally, it remains a mystery, no matter what you think you know or how highly you deem yourself to have evolved, no matter how well you speak of love, space, ideas, purpose or anything else.
Do you still want enlightenment, living the enlightened life - talk about Love or Being? Why, what for?  Even all those lofty spaces and places I have known seem to belong to a different world, a prior world it seems, a world I can't go back to. In this one, ignorance is everywhere...continued hardship and the new formation of bad habits becomes slowly clear. In the face of relentless overwhelm, giving up starts being a consideration, allowing care to slip just because it's too much, priorities misplaced. It takes all you got, and even then, how long till you got to let it go? It gets bare and raw. Taking care of your human needs, nvm wants and desires is becoming more and more a non-option as well as is loosing relevance. It's bare, it's raw and basic - you do what needs to be done in the moment. You start to consider that defending is pointless, no longer even an option and all you are left with is feeling.  This seems so counter to all the empowerment talk going on in certain circles.
I suspect anyone reading this will likely have experienced their own version of this. A thought creeps up: ignorance is a blessing - how else can people do what they do and still laugh and smile? Hiding in a body to forget. And if you don't need to walk this path, then by all means, don't. Be happy. Have fun playing the game.
Why am I even writing this - so I don't forget, and in case it can become useful.
Maybe someone will see they are not alone in this....just that I am too tired to even joke :)
Sometimes you are to tired to remember gratitude...until you do.

How kind were you able to be today - despite of it all?
What have you done to the body of Christ - being the person you just met?

Recently I got an extra job: taking care of our new dog. It's a lot of work, given the situation.

My heart opens when I look at her, when I think of her.

..."just " a dog....
I started a blog about her. In love with a dog? Still have not been able to get pictures that capture her beauty.

Native American: Who will win

 So true this one:

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt.

He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart.
One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one."

The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?"

The grandfather answered: "The one I feed."

Get off your butt

I was read an e-mail this morning and ....and in my mind I wrote a blog as a response while preparing breakfast.

Then the day got busy and now I am left with only the remnants of it.
So here just a few phrases.

Sometimes uncompromisingly following your path and being your authentic self leaves you with few friends or followers. Not giving in to what is  wanted but persisting in offering what is needed is a way of looking at it.
Who says you need more talk? Might feel good - and what good is that?

I almost signed up for an online course today - expecting the price about the same as for other courses by the same 2 women - only to discover this one is twice as much  - hm...I was not willing to pay that given my current circumstances. ...and I never asked for favors. I have paid the prices along the spiritual path. This course would have required some work, actual doing of stuff.,,,and presently I am having to let go of jobs to be able to do new ones that are taking priority.
As E.J. Gold has sometimes said: If you don't do the practices, don't complain  you don't get results.
Sitting around discussing ideas can only take you so far, which is, in my experience, not that far at all. While one cannot force the river, ie you can't push anyone to be or do what they cannot, my message is: get off your butt and do the practice. At least give it a try. Then let's meet and talk about the experience.

For example: doing the magic practices that a teacher is recommending.
Why don't you try it, go out and do the way of service and report your experiences?

Those who want more talk and tapes and explanations - go out already and do this, especially if you are an oldtimer and have been at this for 30 years.

How many times have you done magic tricks for kids in the hospital? On the street, in the plaza? Have you even so much as practiced.
It's been amazing to watch the emergence of a path.

This might be difficult to understand out of context. So be it. This is all that is left since this morning.

I guess when the muse strikes - better write then and there.

Donations welcome - the more you donate - the less you might be asked to buy - maybe Or: have you paid for all you got? It is not up to me to decide - it is you who has to know if you have incurred dept.

Doing service is, among other things, a way to pay back dept.

How about doing magic tricks in a homeless shelter on Thanksgiving - unless you are attending a workshop? :D

Uniqueness

There is lot's of talk about your Unique Self in certain spiritual circles - and it makes a lot of sense.

What is your unique self and gift?

I see these wonderful images of very attractive, gorgeous, sexy, beautiful women, some of whom I personally know - and I know they do deep work,  real work, real spiritual work.

And I wonder then - wow - but what if I'm not like that or even meant to live that?  What if I am in fact essentially more plain - hm... What does connecting with the "feminine power" means for this life here, this one who is living as me? What if my contribution is modest - or not meant to be seen - or not really worthy to be seen. What does the  bodhisattva vow mean for me? How does living in this couldron of group help the absolute, the greater being - when tolerating the manifestations of others, non stop and relentless in your face is the task at hand to do before any other work is even possible?. And then - it doesn't stop there, the tolerating of it - but the embracing of it, the lived compassion. How does one do self care and avoid self denial in the face of: the other IS your self - and when in fact the spiritual evolutionary crest of the wave seems to promote  to be all about living YOUR unique self...how easily does this slip into the ME ME ME syndrome?
Explain that in simple words for this world of maya - the pixels of matter. In this never-ending beingness, where only momentary relief seems possible, you got to laugh at least once a day :) and ride the waves as they come....

Ah, sweet paradoxes.

In the end, I keep coming back to this: you do the best you can - and that's the best you can do.

Dying with gratitude in your heart

There is an exercise that goes something like this: When you go to sleep for the night, consider you will not wake up - you'll die...and this was the last day you were here on earth.

Every now and then, I wonder about some things.

How will I die consciously and with an attitude of gratitude for this incarnation, this opportunity?
How can this can be accomplished?

Questions that go through my mind: Did I update my will? How was my last conversation with my mother or sister? Did I let those I love in this human way know that I do? And there is a realisation that while it's not the latest update of my will, noone will suffer financial hardship to have to handle some stuff I leave behind.

I remember reading in Grace and Grit when Treya died....that was amazing.
I won't die like that. It would be cool to be in the presence of someone where love and understanding is the underlying feeling - and to gaze a last time in love and gratitude before the last breath.  Some lives just turn out differently than others. Would I want to die alone? I used to hope that I would not but I do question. Not all company is better than none.

I love remembering those little things and  moments in  life that inspire gratitude,  such amazing gratitude - and it's the little things for me, be it  a small songbird singing on the roof of your house as you wake up on a  clear perfect sunny warm spring morning, Italian ice cream from the Italian guest workers in Germany, chocolate and lemon, double scoop with real wiped cream, chocolate Easter eggs hidden by your dad on a walk through the forest, an unexpected lover's gaze, the teachings of your teachers and some moments with them, the feel or hot water in the shower in the morning, the blissful time of oneness with everything, sounds of music - the end of a rainbow in your garden, the simple act of walking, feeling your muscles and bones and sensing your foot touch the ground, a shiny leaf of a houseplant after dusting it, your cat's purr and warm soft fur,  or her paws alternating putting pressure on your chest, cappuccino with a friend, the freedom of a gift you gave, a day in the park with the kids, the kindness expressed which was unexpected and never forgotten - the heart remembers  - at least until it dies.. But really, it's gratitude for the little things....and that list seems endless....so  many moments...the more I sit, the more they come...it would be pages and pages and pages....
Would I be able to include all the pain? Sometimes I can offer that up....but I don't think recalling those times is beneficial in that process of tat they would naturally occur. I would have to make myself go there - and there would be no point in doing that that makes sense to me.
As for the pain you inflicted on any sentient being - you'll feel that soon enough, if you haven't already...but that's another story.

What would be a better death: die alone grateful for all there was or in the presence of someone who never really cared, where the memory is always on the side of pain, and distrust somehow cannot be overcome? The door to that state of gratitude may be harder to open. Work on self till the last conscious moments....?
The space of deep love and trust as well as acceptance and understanding about the transition and death process - lucky ones where that includes human company.But then, moments of connection sometimes come unexpectedly.
I pray physical pain won't be   too bad to stay conscious and be able to be grateful, to be able  to trust in Being and your instincts and knowing you did the best you could, being able to stay present with the process and say good bye in your mind to everyone with a kind heart and a smile and wave - knowing it's time and simply be ready to go...in deep relaxation and acceptance - and - gratitude for your life, this incarnation as a work opportunity.

As fairly regular mortals, we don't really know how it is afterwards, in the bardo, ....not really....
We are all such  unique and one time one manifestations. I hope I served it well enough...the great It, G-D, the Absolute, The One and Only - in any case, what else could I have done that I would not have done if I could have done it better?
I would like to leave my stuff a little more organized, affairs more handled ....not a bad thing to pay attention to again tomorrow, if there is one...
You just never know.

Train Stations and Riding the Waves

We did not have a car during my early childhood years - and traveled by train, mostly to visit my grandmother. Even later on, I took the train a lot - from the small towns in Northern Germany, were we lived, all the way to Paris, Barcelona, San Sebastian, Lisboa. In Germany, pretty much any village was connected. I loved the going and coming, the picking up relatives from the station, the being in the compartments. ....
I loved traveling by train, loved the big steaming engines rolling in, the calling "Alle einsteigen - Zug faerhrt ab ...and...the whistle - the leaning out of the window, waving....
wow, really cool...
One thing too: if the departure time was, say 10:00 am - the train left the station at 10am. Pretty much you had to count on the trains being on time, and here is the big thing:  you were either on it - or not.
Missing a train, that's like missing your ticket for an adventure, a life, a world - trains are portals into other worlds. Train stations - transit stations.  Sure, there was another train later - but you might miss your connection. We did not miss trains in my family - not that I can remember.
But I did see a lot of  trains leave the station.

That train going somewhere - you are either on it or not - Riding a wave is a little bit like it - except you don't have a time table. There is something very similar though - the waves comes, you can catch it, or it catches you, you are willing and able to ride it and be on it - or not. If you miss it, it is gone. You fall off it, it's gone and you "stand" there seeing the tail end of it. No other wave will ever be the same, that world, that energy is no longer available. Sure, there may be other waves, but none like this one.

Not just water, a wave can be energy, inspiration, passion - unexplained non-stop inspiration and energy for a project. Ideas after ideas...and you ride it when that energy comes. You don't know why you can work for hours, non-stop. If for some reason you crash, any reason, you crash...then

- the wave passes and is gone. You end up  in a trough remembering, wondering, bereft, puzzled.

A crash like that is more painful and surprisingly despairing than I ever would have thought. Unexpected traps and clubs - or potholes - however you want to call it. Using high sense perception, I could even see the energy, it's shape, it's color it's movement. It was bigger than my physical body..it was amazing .

Then, instead of  mini tsunami waves of energy, a gazillion ideas and
inspiration, I sit there and there is nothing but grief and tears
and a big nothingness when it comes to even thinking about working on
this project. It's all gone. It really is like that: train left the station - nothing
else to do.

Whether you are in drama or not - the energy is gone....that's tangible.
And a realization that yes, there is grieving to be felt - so it will not get stuck.

Neither good nor bad - just a pause for thought: if one throws a wrench into someone's inspiration, into someone's surfing a wave - that's karma - either good or bad - you will have to live with the consequences. In fact, the world changes - tripping into a parallel world. Not that one world is meant to be and the other not - they are just different. Where you find yourself is different.

Words carry weight, non communication carries weight. Skillful means and self awareness as well as true benevolence is a rare find in humans. If you do find it - praise the Lord :)


Then you get ready for the next wave, not knowing  when it will come - one thing for sure though - if you are not there when it does, they don't wait - you're either on it or not.  In the meantime - you paddle....

cool sound
Steam Engine in Northern Germany

more cool sounds

I was surprised to find a fair number of footage from Northern German Train Stations.

Flute Art - a Zen Flute Art Homework

At the end of Advanced Zen Flute class number 9, we got an interesting homework assignment, in addition to working with our flutes: take the tube from of an empty paper towel roll and decorate it as a flute - don't make holes in it though.
This then could be call - paper towel cardboard transformation

Here are some samples from one of the participants, more to come soon - send your images in to worklife, no bigger than 600x400 pixels.
Flute Art - see more here  - or click on the image

Flute Art - see more

Love Love Love fun on beaconwork

Having  fun with the new  Beacon Work website. Thought I'd let you know. Here is my post for today: Love Love Love.

Feeling body of G-D - altar of embodiment

There is a thing called skillful means. I think it is an important skill. Those well studied and experienced and in addition have a well developed social nervous system may have a way to work with certain situations in some skillful way. Don't underestimate the latter - the well developed social nervous system. Some folk' s brains just are not like that. It is painful to watch it in others or to experience it in your own body and mind...the non-skillful ways.
What happens to those who basically are speechless and without skillful words...and even the words that were there earlier - did not matter?

How to proceed when someone else's work -actually, it's quite beautiful and efficient work-, whether through love, personal conviction, sheer obligation,  with consent of others in the company or just giving in to those who cried the loudest - ends up undermining, or at least rendering useless and proving a waste of time  what you considered your work of love? Inexplicably there was such energy there for it..until that moment you find out that no matter what you write now - it won't matter? You just happen to spend a good portion of your life and resources into a project - but you just work there and matters have already been handled.
How to carry on in the conviction that all is mutable and open, possibilities endless, working with inspiration and intuition - when things are already written in electronic stone? Where to take the energy from to continue working on the project? Or is this the Universe telling you - not that direction?

Sometimes I wonder if any of us here in Western culture ever have any reason to complain about anything - no, I don't think so. You have too much, it's too good, too many options, and the planet as it is needs too much to continue to provide us with an embodiment homestead. Having no reason to complain  does not mean there is no pain -  that is part of embodiment, part of being on the planet. This does not mean violence does not happen -  however disguised it may have been...and  well meaning ignorance and it's consequences can be most difficult things to endure.

Violence has various forms  - the insidious, couched disguised violence is not one you see easily. It's not the one screaming in your face, not the one going loud and wild. It is way deeper....and it gets you deeper....but you can't prove it, especially in the midst of smart words and social skills you may not have.

It  gets difficult. You get over it when you put things into perspective, you count your Blessings. You give thanks for all the good in your life, all the possibilities and wonders.  Then you feel the next wave of pain, without obstructing it, and even there, grateful to be a feeling body for G-D, offering up this too on the altar of embodiment of love -  expanding ever so momentarily,  to touch the freedom and the knowing ..the sensing that there is no difference - this beingness of one and only. This is what THIS feels like.

And then you do something else. The energy just is no longer there for what you were doing. And who knows what is better and what anything is ultimately good for? Pretty much you can't see that far ahead. A very long time ago I came across a poem by Stephen K. Hayes: "Do not speak to me of that which could have been. All that was -  is all that could have been. Let us level our gaze and move purposefully into today".

Love does not depend on having respect. Respect will effect trust. Trust had to be earned. Without a certain trust, some things are impossible to achieve between human beings. Ask yourself: is this the company you wish to keep? That world does go on without you just fine.

You can still offer what you do have to offer with openness and love. It just might look differently than what you thought it would look like. Ask yourself: who am I giving to - what is it I am giving and am I giving freely?
Being open means you feel stuff....

Years ago, a few months after I started a new life and work - something came across my desk. I do not remember now where I got it from, it went something like this:

"Just because it's futile, does not mean you should not be enthusiastic."

:) - well, I know some people who might benefit from putting it on their desk...but then again - who knows.

Life is such a mystery.

Conscious embodiment - creation life love

In a certain kind of a way - there is no real live unless we embody the divine.
you may say: but it's all embodiment of the divine - hm...it's all maya UNTIL it is brought to real life by conscious embodiment - of "it" "G-D", "Being" the Premordial Conscious Nothingness.

And walking through self, feeling love for "IT", full of love for it, perceiving oneself non separate from it, yet "other" - walking through many realities and situations all at once as if in a dream - and yet, at the central core of it - there isn't anything there - except "IT" - emptiness

....what to say - such moments are difficult to describe

and in a certain kind of a way - there is nothing else to do but to love and find ways to express love for this being, for god, which is non separate from anything and everything you see, hear, touch, sense, feel, intuit, image...

there really is only one thing to do

love love love

this does not imply to have to act stupidly ^^

Bardo, death and moving on

"About 20 minutes into the Bardo flight you won't care who came to
the funeral . . . you'll be occupied working on a million things at
once . . . there is extreme acceleration . . . moving at light speed,
you try to balance and adjust; this keeps you very busy. By now you
have forgotten where you came from; you lose the specificity of the
recent life . . . language -- what language???" --E.J. Gold


"Dead is Dead--
The secret mentation which helps those in the work community remember
their aim to remain dead -- this is the specific remedy for personal
cravings -- say it over and over again; measure your activities,
moods and attitudes against its inexorable truth, and remain among
the ranks of those who are in the world but not of it."  -- E.J. Gold

Perfect moment - nowhere to go, nothing to do

The other day I was participating in the Martial Energetics class, a weekly class Thursday afternoon on gorebaggtv. It was really nice with the simple warm-up exercises which were easy to follow. Yet, about 1/2 way through the class, I got tired and wanted to sit down, but did not and continued as a gesture of respect and service for the class and the instructor.
Towards the end we did the short Tai Chi form - which I so far had only watched  and never done, although once I tried it....too confusing. That day, for the first time, I participated and WOAH....not only could I follow it, it made sense. I could do it and it flowed kinda nice. Needless to say I was very surprised.

We then did an exercise sitting on a chair and it was suggested, after being shown a good way to sit, to visualize a place we'd like to be to relax, such as at the ocean, in a forest, someplace we'd like to be.

Normally I am extremely visual, that time not much would appear. Even as some images of places showed themselves, which I had to make myself come up with, they would not stick and what's more: there was a sense and feeling that there was no place else I'd rather be. I settled into that feeling. In that moment, sitting on that chair in the barn - there was no place I would rather be, nothing else I would rather do. It was one of those: "nowhere to go and nothing to do" moments.

It was quite remarkable to sense and it is  a perfection of a certain kind. Stillness, contentment, breathing - difficult to explain. Very cool - just being there.

Why Eat Sprouts

Sprouting anyone can do

For me, the answer is going to be fairly easy and short: I need calcium, it's easy, clean and does not require a lot of space - and - someone came up with a sprouting jar that may just be perfect for the space I have available.

Organically sprouted foods are so simple and easy to make, are fresh, fast, toxin free, healthy and full of life foods for only pennies per serving - why on earth isn't everyone doing it?
It takes less than a minute per day to grow and prepare sprouts. One tablespoon of organic seeds will fill a quart jar with several ounces of sprouts. A 4-ounce package will yield several pounds of organic sprouts.

Here is a picture of a sprouting jar with a cover that allows water to run through easily and is well suited for even tiny size seeds. If you want to make your own sprouting jars,  this is an excellent   and detailed info-blog on how to make your own sprouting jar
I think jars are much easier to use and rinse than trays and the metal does not repel water, so the jars accept the rinsing very well.

Sprouts will grow nearly anywhere indoors, in fact, don't expose them to direct sunlight. Sprouts require very little space and they travel well.


It only takes 3 to 7 days to a bountiful, nutrition-packed harvest. When stored in your refrigerator, they will stay fresh for days- even weeks if rinsed properly.
The right combination of sprouts contains everything needed for life and health.
Do you have any good sprout recipes you are willing to share?

Organic Sprouts are rich in antioxidants, protective for your cells from radiation and toxic chemicals. They are helping  the body to cleanse, detox, rebuild and heal itself.

All sprouts are rich in vitamins, minerals, trace elements, enzymes, and fiber. When exposed to light, several become rich in chlorophyll. Highly nutritious and low calorie.

More on sprouting to come. Looking forward you any reports about your food garden in the kitchen.

We all have our place to be and do our work - gracias

Outpost - It felt medieval alright. If I had any kind of romantic ideas or sentimental feelings about a medieval fair in Spain, it got replaced today by a sense of gratitude  to those who go to an event that, judging by the impression of the photos I saw, looked and felt "medieval".  To "boldly go" to display things like: The American Book of the Dead and Practical Work on Self, Brane-Power amulets and the Beacon - it totally reminded me of one of those outposts in the game WOW (World of Warcraft). Those of you who played the game will know what I mean.
I like Spain, feel quite connected to Europe in general, being  from there and I am convinced there are other sides and levels, in fact, this fair couldda been anywhere, but this evening an aspect presented itself in a felt sense I could not ignore: those images showed a place and space in a game,  - sort of unreal, spaces  as if in a video game... - and their stand reminds me of an "outpost" you see in  WOW - only it is our 3d urth game.
And I realized once again: we all have our place of work.
Gracias to everyone doing the work out there  that you do....glad there are outposts.
All photos by Eric Feingold.

    The Outpost

Magic Tricks and Effects on Mind, Belief and Conditioning

just something i wanted to say

being here for this magic show preparation and exploration is really
cool. what you may have not yet realized is that it really is not
about the tricks per se. it's not about figuring out how it is
done...and if perchance you do - you REALLY don't want to spoil it
for the others, in fact, you really should not.

keep quiet, send us a
note about an observation and if possible, drop any cynic
attitude....you're missing the point.

if you see something online that gives the "trick" away  - let us
know but you don't have to necessarly tout it out. there are kids here
who are having fun!

and there is another reason to just listen, watch and allow the magic
to do it's work.

and here is why i felt it was important to say something

the message here may be  a really deep one

i sum it up like this:
what you see is what you get - and what you see may not be what it is.

getting this beyond your mind into a deeper layer of your being is
totally amazing.

it is not the object to figure out how the trick works, and you not
only don't have to figure out how any trick works, it may work
against your awakening process.

lately, with the help of some of my facebook friends, i have come
across some articles that are mindboggling if what is said it true:
reality and physics are not at all defined. even the speed of light
may not be what has been assumed...and it makes sense that there is
no constant at all, not even the speed of light.

reading stuff like this of new "whacko" physics ideas, quantum
mechanics, the brain on meditation etc and listening to ej talk about
reality and perception and hallucination and allowing the "magic",
the trickery, the showmanship right in front of you to  fool the  eye
and senses and just be amazed and enjoying the show AND the lecture
interwoven into it   - and be amazed in some kind of wonderment has a
very strong though subtle effect on something internal, some  deep
structure.

reality is becoming fluid and it is totally amazing
ya, there some things are tricks, and some are not
and maya becomes apparent in a way that is really cool.

you don't get that analysing the trick
you don't get that spoiling it for others proving some point you
think you have to make.

i know some of the tricks and i am amazed anyway how it can be pulled
of because, ... just "knowing" how it gets done does not mean you can
do it.

it's about the whole thing about what is real, what is, what is
possible who you are

it's fun and it opens doors

if all the jugglers and magicians in medieval times had a lecture to
go with their act: maybe this world would have had another course.
magicians had many functions: i think one of them was to keep
humanities structures somewhat less crystallized...whether they knew
it or not.

what you see is what you get, and what you see may not be how it
really is.

so keep an open attitude and let the magic work on you a little, that  is my
recommendation....

Parallel worlds, Reality, Fluidity and Changing Spaces

Different folks on Facebook post different things - and some are so very interesting. Thanks for finding them! One of the many things emerging is how much we don't really know once it get's into how things really are, what reality is, or seems to be. It's becoming more and more fluid, changeable, non-pin-pointable - with a big sense of: anything really IS possible. While there are some laws in physics, they don't apply in the other dimensions. Nothing is really real and solid, nothing at all, not really. It's amazing, it's beautiful - it's Being and it moves as one. It's alive  and it's beautiful and it feels...

Anyway, what I meant to say is that it seems that reality really seems extremely flexible, malleable, and it is where you can go, what you believe and can perceive....and to say the sky is the limit would not do it justice.

It is beginning to make sense to actually do Parallel World DayTripper excursions. 

Awakening from the heart - woman awakening

This evening I was "transferring" band practice music from tape to digital and strumming along on my 40 year old guitar with a few simple and not always matching chords. At some point though the chords and strumming did something else and the only words that came to mind were: women wake up, women wake up - everywhere, in all cultures, all societies. Pretty amazing few minutes. It was like calling all women everywhere to wake up and do what needs to be done from there. And "I" per se wasn't the one calling. The sense, space and feeling was big, non separate.
The doing what needs to be done does not come from the realization of consciousness the way it often is understood - it comes from waking up the heart - from heart awakening - as if one of the seats of consciousness is located in the heart itself.
It's amazing.
Maybe 2012 is going to be a very big year after all - it's possible.

Talking about possible, this reminds me of something else I wanted to write down.

Encounter - red-orange dragonfly - alien in the garden

A story I have to tell - and show - it was beautiful - and a bit amazing

This morning I was working in the garden - my little garden patch.   An orangy-red dragon fly had been around for a couple of days, and I remember thinking: I never saw an orange-red dragon fly before. So - it was there again this morning and picked this bamboo pole as a resting point. I don't know much about typical behavior for dragon flies. Maybe it was sun-bathing? Anyway, it flew away a few times, only to quickly return to that spot. I wished then I had my camera there. After a while, I decided to take a closer look and to say "High"...and we got acquainted...very cool.  It seemed to be making some kind of nodding head movement. As I said, whatever it is that dragonflies do.... I worked some more and after about another hour,  finally I told it: Ok if you want your picture taken, stay there and I'll be back with my camera. So I went up to the house and returned....it was still there. It allowed me to get pretty close - till I could see it's face...I don't know what you can see - but I see a smiling face. It was amazing. Nvm the things you can read into the face of an insect - but this guy seemed intelligent, funny, friendly...it was just great....I hope the pictures can convey some of it - as my words can't. I thought it was worth sharing.

Any idea what his name might be - or where he's from? :)

As far as I can tell, he is one of those:
Order: Odonata
Suborder: Anisoptera
Order Description: Dragonflies
Family: Libellulidae
Family Description: Skimmer

Women's groups? Feminine Power?

Last week I was on the phone with a friend and wonderful guide of mine. One thing that came up was this: what about all this stuff about women getting together, women's groups and awakening and feminine power stuff going on these days, it's everywhere,  even a women's safari group formed itself almost effortlessly in this field - how much if any of this is somewhat of a  new age fad, something rooted in selfish "self" expression, getting needs met and/or is this something  in line with certain kinds of high level initiations which have service as a center piece, or a true bodhisattva disposition.
Here is how she viewed it: "It can be looked at as a way of the system (of all of humanity) to self correct to come into a more balanced state, to become healthy - after centuries of dominance of the patriarchal systems". That made a lot of sense, and while there may be some overcompensating that may happen - it still is something that needs to happen.
...and it is not a "return to" kind of a movement, it is  a new direction: from femininepower.com: "For the feminine to become a source of power from which we can create the future of our lives and the future of our world, it needs to be consciously evolved through us. We need to awaken and cultivate a new, co-creative, feminine power that integrates and includes all the gains of masculine power, giving us access to a kind of co-creativity we’ve never seen in our recorded history.
The power we've been mastering for the last 50 years has been a masculine version of power.
Until now, power has been defined exclusively in masculine terms. If you look up the word “power” in the dictionary, the definition given is the ability “to do, to act, to accomplish, to wield command or control over others. This masculine power system has given us the miracles of science and the marvels of industry. It has enabled us to create an unprecedented standard of living and have opportunities beyond our grandmothers’ wildest dreams."

From the - The Women's Temple group:
"For the balanced feminine to blossom it is helpful, and in our experience crucial, to create and sustain women’s circles that truly nourish us in the deepest sense. Instead of enforcing the status quo by focusing on our problems and personal shortcomings, circles like this connect us with truth beyond our fears and limited self-images. From this deeper place we can effortlessly radiate clarity and guidance instead of exhaust ourselves in trying to be leaders from a tense, competitive and ego-centered state of mind." The Awakening Women Way, http://awakeningwomenblog.com/, is an invitation to show up in your life as a compassionate and powerful leader, fully honoring your feminine beauty, wisdom and strength. Chameli Ardagh

It is in this field I look at my life, and, not being able to come up with a single thing, other than emptying my storage unit before I die, - I made an invocation.

Considerations on Beauty, Aesthetic and Level of Consciousness - and some questions

A saying by a Buddhist teacher, transmitted through Ken Wilber goes:
"The way you treat your environment is the way you treat your mind."
Not quite the same, this has also been said: if your environment is messy, so is your mind.

I really admire, adore, would like to live in a space that reflects clarity and aesthetics - and then there is: a ratio of work to do and stuff to store and organize/to available space, time and energy in which to accomplish this. As with all things, there is keeping with appropriateness to time, place and people.

I would like to recount a  little episode, or a mental vignette for you if you will, that was brought to my attention the other day. Before I do this, here  are a couple of background considerations on beauty and the desire or impulse to be beautiful, pleasing in appearance and also have your surroundings be like that. The question here is: what is the motive for being beautiful and/or keeping your space aesthetic and clean? Here is how I understood the places this desire and associated actions can come from if one uses a simple 3 level scheme.

- You do yourself up to be as beautiful as you can be just for your own narcissistic need -  whether you are actually saying that or not - this is egocentric motivation.

- You do yourself up for a relationship, your lover, friend, family, your tribe - this is called ethnocentric in it's motivation.

- You are being beautiful as a gift and the pleasure it brings to everyone around you - all sentient beings.
Aesthetic and harmony, being that which is pleasing, are part of your life and expression of being. Everything that is arising is part of the perfect manifestation of the great perfection. It's just not yourself, it also is your environment. Here  beauty and aesthetic is an alignment. All you are doing  -  is honoring the beauty of the great perfection. Objects that are arising that are around you are ornaments of that perfection. A simple aesthetic, balanced and harmonious,  is  an indication of alignment with a certain purity.

So then:

A small group was gathered in a fairly large space for a previously scheduled 45 minute special type of movement energetics class. It is a new class being worked out. Things are going well.

Then someone not part of the class,  with great intent of making a proprietary part of this workspace clean, starts vacuuming in another part of the space - with increases dust, but mostly is very loud, making it somewhat difficult to hear the instructor. This goes on off and on the rest of the class. Generally the cleaner desires and is able to maintain a fairly aesthetic looking space.

So here are few  questions:

1- In light of above considerations of motivation - in which of those 3 levels  was the motivation likely centered for the cleaning action at that time?

2- In general, can, in the same act, be the motivation double, ie: egocentric as well as be aligned with the higher, balanced, perfect aesthetic?

3- Where does this leave a messy creative chaos?

4- Are we back to: beauty is in the eye of the beholder - or is there something objective about real beauty?
(See my previous post)

5- Is (or was, not sure if same is true of the younger generation)  Japanese cultural plus enforced by necessity order in cramped quarters out of a sheer lack of space an expression of higher level of consciousness?

6- Is a degree of messiness and disorderliness out of sheer lack of manpower and energy to get all the work done as well as simultaneously maintaining a high level of certain aesthetic space  reflective of a lower level of consciousness?

I have not read all that much about these things, ....just wondering.

One of the things I am juggling at the moment is: how to get all the work done as well as establish and be able to maintain an aesthetically pleasing workspace. Sheer time and space constraints seem to say: impossible.
It could  be that  energy for more  work gets liberated having handled a certain degree of "inevitable"  messiness.

7- If maintaining a highly aesthetic space and personal appearance out of any motivation comes at a cost to others in the same group and their work, how can it be justified? Can it be justified?

So much for now.
Given the general Gestalt of what is happening - answers will manifest themselves.

In closing for this post, here is something I heard today in regards to our planetary condition and all the investigations into consciousness:

"This is the time to DO consciousness....".

 The Blessing Well

What is Beauty?

Beauty - is it state dependent, is it really in the eye of the beholder?

Seeing a number of incredible photography of incredibly beautiful places as well as artwork, I wonder: When does something qualify as beautiful to us?

What is the something that, no matter where, when or by whom it is viewed, will inspire this sense of awe, aesthetic and beauty? Or is there really such a thing?  What about nature - and sacred geometry?

What about - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Or, in other words: is it dependent on state of consciousness, on perception in inner experience?

I recall something from many, many years ago. I was looking out the window across houses and houses onto the smoking factories of a big city. It was sunset time - and suddenly everything turned into beauty and perfection - pure Beauty and Perfection. I was standing there in awe for quite some time. I never would have guessed it could happen - given I was not very fond of industrial smoking factories. But wow - sheer perfect beauty. The Beatles were playing, on tape: I hope you understand...(to the tune of: I wanna hold your hand)

What aesthetic was that?

So then back to: what is Beauty, what is beautiful - and how can you tell?
Despite thoughts and preliminary answers about this, the questions nonetheless got rekindled by seeing such beautiful images on Facebook, posted by different folks.

Beauty - The property, quality or state of being "that which pleases merely by being perceived" (Aquinas)

Making Music Invocation and Invitation to Travel

                                    House Concert Impressions July 3, 2010

 

In the shower? Feminine power - for women only

A little while ago a read a well written blog about blogging - as in: who are you writing to, who reads this, the non responses and their implications. They came up with an interesting exercise, very interesting in fact, could be fun and it made sense to undertake. (link below)

A few days ago - I read a promo type e-mail (which I had signed up for) from the "Feminine Power" gals, I think it was Katherine Woodward Thomas. In this promo e-mail was a phrase something like "...and this morning while I was in the shower...", ...and I go eh-what? I am very visual when I read, and did I really need to see that?

A day later I noticed something I attribute as a result of these personal life details in their e-mail: I felt more connected to them as well as this much bigger body that is forming with a lot of other women... I can't even describe the level of it. It made intuitive sense. And it felt right, though unfamiliar. It reminds me on a nonverbal level of "The Feminine", the OTHER side of my self, with often all to masculine tendencies. There's a matrix of "Feminine" - intangible but real.

So, in part, this blog here is - on more than 1 level - a way of giving, sharing and connecting - that is expressive of the what is called "The Feminine" nature of things - and - it just comes, is and moves and does not (have to) make sense. :)

It's great - and I can only hope that whoever reads this, will get something good out of it.

I had to sign up for this free intro tele seminar - so now I get their e-mails - and I did because they as well as the available free recordings do and give something that is inspiring for me, here, now, today, in my life, with other women...and I am grateful.

To know more specifics about what they do and intend, you'd have to read their story and premise and experience etc. and what they are trying to do as well as sell - for women only as far as the course goes, and nvm that this life detail in the e-mail could have been employed as a technique to sell their seminar, if it is, it worked, however, it feels like they are sincere, link below.

Feminine Power
Typing to everyone and no one at all

Embrace and Movement

Between Polarities:

The embrace of how things are

and

Movement towards how we can become.

If all phenomena is illusion, what is healing?

"So I just heard this question: If all phenomena is illusion, what is healing?"

Here are a few responses coming to mind:

Your point being?
Why do you wonder?
Then what's the question?
Is that a challenge of some kind?
What makes you think there is a separation?
How does manifest nothingness look like?
How does reality look like as bodies?
Do nothing, and wither away - it's all illusion.
Yes, the concept applies to certain aspects of being here, physically and energetically.
No one needs to heal of anything, some just want to enable themselves to do certain tasks or experience certain states and something we call healing is the next step for them.
While you play the game, why not play it well, why not explore it whichever you feel drawn too?
So it is illusion - the point being?
Or: Healing is where nothingness and everythingness merges, illusion and reality become one and paradoxes cease to bother you.
The ultimate holing.
Healing = holing = re-membering.
You are in a hell diablo hardcore game - it's all illusion, it's all 1 pixel deep. You are there for a task with a group - to be accomplished in the pixel world - and amongst the beings behind the players, the essential selves. You - your character is close to dying - but healing is too much of an illusion it suddenly seems - so why bother drinking a heal pot? You hesitate, you die. Hm...this is hardcore - you're gone. The group cannot complete the task without you.
Maybe that is the lessons for the group: now what? Maybe it's: healing would not have been so bad, if it was an option: just so the work, the next task, could be finished - without have to now redefining the task as: how to we deal with him being dead now - supposing, assuming, believing that there was a real thing to be done.
Semantics.
What is your REAL question?
ngite

Brilliance as - Sir Ken Robinson

Brillance takes many forms - this is one:

Sir Ken Robinson - Revolution in Education

Spiritual business - a speculation without a speculum -

This is a speculation with a caveat: I got no speculum...so..

(that was a bit of a joke, in case you're Canadian or German)

I have been following the postings of integraleric. He's on facebook, youtube and blogger and has a website or 2 and a few webpages. Not having a straight up link here is intentional.

He's got a plan - and he's good, and I love his stuff. The focus is on neuroscience and consciousness and he gives you lots of references. Images are great, website totally cool, the info rocks...I love it. He's in the "Integral" camp, working with the best and I suppose they  (think they) figured out what works - as there is a definite style and methodology they seem to  follow - and from all I can tell - it works.

I am grateful for the info, images, words and so on, and whether intended or not as such, it serves a purpose - one of education and making accessible something  for anyone who is interested - but especially those scientifically trained folks. And it's been very methodical. Recently, something else got added - a new and newly developed product  ....  yes, 

 - he is also selling something. For real cash.

It's genial, brilliant - it seems there is a definite target audience - those trained scientifically and possible most resistant to the "metaphysical humbug" hype, possibly lacking certain spiritual experiences personally experienced. Here however they can see: it is being proven more on more - all those stories and miracles - have a scientific correlate. - which opens a door and a huge market of reasonably affluent and possibly influential   folks for the kind of product Eric is selling.

Brilliant and beautifully executed.

Serving, educating, doing what he loves and possibly making a great living from it....(remember, I don't have a speculum :) - that's great.

For all I know and wish,  may all good things flow to you - keep doing the work....I for my part am grateful. Hopefully riches and power won't corrupt. From where I'm at, from a certain point on, all one can lawfully be -  is a conduit...

Why I love grasses

Difficult as my little garden project may be in terms creating a healthy self sustaining area with a variety of plants that include flowers for color and pure beauty, plants for food and herbs for healing - I love grasses. I simply am incapable of pulling them all out, even as they need to be contained to give space to other beings. They are soooooooo beautiful....each one of them. It's the way they move and grow, come to bloom, look, come to seed. They are ancestors and relatives of wheat, oat, rye and other such plants used for food for thousands of years.  I love grasses, I can watch them and watch them and watch them some more -  it's simply pure beauty. My snappers can't really do them justice.

But then, I love all the other plants too.....

Gophers - killing and compassion

There are 2 small areas I am working with this year - and they each got some rodent living in the ground - some rodent that EATS ROOTS...and in the process kills the plant. Earlier this year - I could hear it sometimes in the early evening, as well as see the plant move - in this case beautiful healthy and healthy soil giving clover - now 98 % gone.
We have a rat terrier, Storm the Wonderdog, who was supposed to catch some, and he did actually, elsewhere. We do have a cat wondering about too. I considered some poisonous plant seed briefly, but then decided against that.

One of the little patches has some transplanted baby strawberry plants on it and the other day I also put some beans in the ground. So I decided to water the area really well. And it got soaked - in addition, I took the hose and watered any area that might have been missed - and then THERE IT WAS - grey wet rodent, best I can tell, a pocket gopher, coming out of the hole, getting air, trying not to drown ...slow moving and wet, it was under more splashing water - where was
Storm???????????????

I could have killed it - there is was, poor, grey, wet, cute creature - just doing what he was born to do. Without doubt a sentient being ... and there is no way I could have killed it.

Why? For one - how can I possibly kill this little furry creature? And secondly, I don't have the right to. I don't have a good reason to. Nothing I can think of would justify killing it.
If I really depended on those beans for my life - we'd have to talk - but I don't.
If I really depended on those beans to live, I might have to catch and fry it for food, but I don't.
If it was injured and suffering - it did not look like it.
If it carried some dreadful disease - I don't think so.
If the garden was totally overrun by them - but it isn't.

What constitutes real necessity to kill?

And it was cute too - and of course it got away.

...and of course, it finished off another bean plant the next day.

I figured I'll keep the area so wet that he'll move to another spot more to his liking. Not sure yet if it's working.

Things I see in the Garden

Looking at my other blogs, this subject qualifies as not really fitting into those, so garden stuff will go here for the time being. To start with, here's most of what's on my webpage.

Why do I have a garden section here?

Because of a connection to the earth, plants and animals. All my life, nature has played an important role. In many ways, it made it possible for me to even stay here...on the planet. So – it's important to me.
I am very aware of different approaches in working and dealing with the soil and how to grow things and, having said that, I also need to acknowledge that the time, energy and resources I can devote to gardening is definitely very limited. The soil here get's baked in the summer and it's so hot and without rainfall for so long, it makes almost every plant die without watering. This too is a severe limitation. There is however a piece of land that I am working with.
So here is the idea: create garden beauty that in time will be self sustained with a minimum amount of additional water. I say beauty and I mean that, even though this garden may never look like it could win a contest.

It is an experiment. It will take years to develop. Here are some thoughts:

- Aim for healthy soil
- Aim for plant variety
- Work with what is there
- Accept beneficial plants that are given to you for whatever reason
- Accept what help shows up, for example seeds, money for planting materials, rice hulls....
- All plants get some help getting started, this includes watering and weeding
- If a weed takes over, it needs to be limited
- If a plants needs too much care, it will not make it here
- Watch and see what grows and what does not
- Find companion plants to those that do grow here
- Use everything possible from your garden to make compost
- Make the walkways the way that naturally evolve and are useful

Maybe it's like reinventing some wheel, don't know...it is what I am doing.

Why do people blog?

Yes, why do people blog or use facebook and the like - and, more importantly, why do YOU blog?

If you are reading this - you blog - Why?
Please let others know.

As you can tell, I have recently become a blogger myself, and I have my reasons too - but I'd like to hear from you first, regardless of where you blog or what you blog about.

Empathy, action and painting pretty pictures

If you have not had the chance to view Michi Kaku's: "A photographic essay of the British Petroleum (BP) oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico" on facebook, it's worth it. I viewed this, feeling and sensing, allowing the images to tell the stories. Tears were rolling down my face...but more interestingly, for the first time in my live I wanted to be an activist, DO something, even if going there and washing the birds.

I am not saying that this oil spill was not necessary as a huge wake up call as well as grand timing for alternate energy companies to make their bid. I save judgment on the grander meaning or purpose. The planet so desperately needs the establishment of alternate and clean energy sources - as well as a consciousness of energy preservation, so painfully lacking in the USA that visitors from Europe comment on the wasteful ways we live.

The point here is: If you emphatically feel, how long can you sit at home painting pretty pictures, when you are not also active publicly, socially in the larger arena? Not saying there's anything at all wrong with painting pretty pictures (or other such related activities)...just wondering.

There's a saying: "Just say NO to apathy" gxxaxx
and there's : "Get that head out of the sand" so you can see what's happening around you.
"Wake-up" -> then "DO it" and DO IT NOW.

What kind of blog is this anyway?

Exactly, what kind of blog is this?

For a while now I have been wondering what to do with this blog. Admittedly, there was considerable confusion at the time of creating about google accounts, blogs and posts, and so I ended up with more than I realized. To make things worse, at the time I was not aware of things like keywords, methods of search engines and best ways to name your blog so it might be found.

It's pretty clear that "Beaconwork" has a unique focus. "Who is E.J. Gold" is a stand alone blog for some time to come. "Bardotraining" is a more complicated matter as I also have a website and everything can be used as Bardo Training.

But then I also have: Dokgoth - speaking in quotes - I like that blog a lot. And a couple of others, hidden from view atm.....geez, I could just keep writing all day if I had no other obligations...so enough already. Part of the problem is that I have too wide a focus, or, am not focused on a defined area. If developing a conscious life is a focus, then EVERYTHING, and every activity qualifies. Deep breath - so there.

So this might become the: "what comes to mind that can be considered funny, useful or contributory to growth and development of greater awareness that does not clearly fit into the other blogs I presently already have" kind of blog :)

Themes like: "Lessons learned in the garden" - or "Things I realized gardening". Or "The new energies on earth", or "Healing and realizing self", "What therapies can do for you", or "Death and taxes and other certain things in life", or "reading for the recently deceased", or "what is real help", or "why dance", or "how to learn Photoshop without a book or someone to show you anything?"....and so on...could all be blogs of their own, but I can't manage any more blogs!!!!!!!!!! Or, to own it: I don't WANT any more blogs at this time.

And then there is a question: Why do we blog at all? Why do so many people blog? Why do I blog?